Half Smile

There are times when I wish
I had stood in the rain with you
And watched the gutters fill, overflow
With our collective sin.
Yours, and mine
As we walked, hand in hand
Blood in blood, warm
Trickles of water, falling
Wetting the skin beneath your eyes
Soft, warm, tender to my touch.

There are times I wish that
You had told me.
That you loathed me, detested me,
Hated me from within, as I
Stood there in the rain,
Outside your door
A hopeful half-smile on my face.

But no, you ostracized me, with your eyes.
And made me crumble, fall
Beneath the load of our collective sins
Yours, and mine.
And the rain still falls, and
I let the water trickle down
Wet my clothes, soak my skin.
I’ll walk these streets till midnight
Wanting to taste it, yet
Knowing that my half-smile is gone forever